“Behind every successful man, is a woman doing all of the work.”
“I wish my mom would have told me the same thing about guys as she did about horror movies… don’t worry, they’re all fake.”
“Love is like Tug-of-war, one jerk after another.”
“Boy are immature, guys are jerks, men are rare.”
“There are easier things in life than finding a good man…. nailing Jell-o to a tree for instance.”
“Guys are like yellow Starbursts, they look good from the outside but when you get a little deeper, they make you want to throw up.”
“Men are stupid. If you forget, they will remind you.”
“No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves.”
“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.” -Gloria Steinem
“The perfect man is like the Lochness Monster… they say he exists but no one’s ever seen him!”
“If we can send one man to the moon, why can’t we send them all there?”
“Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men, to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”
“Men are like fish.. neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut.”
“Men are living proof that women can take a joke!”
“I think, therefore I am single.”
“Men are terrible.. they will ruin your life, mark my words.” -Steel Magnolias
“Mr. Right’s coming.. but he’s in Africa and he’s walking!” -Oprah
“God created man before woman because you always need a rough draft.”
“Everyone keeps telling me that the right guy will come along. I think mine got hit by a truck.”
“Woman are crazy. Men are stupid. Women are crazy because men are stupid.”
“Men are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.”
“What’s the difference between the IQ of a stupid guy and one of a mosquito? About 5 points. How do you even the score? Kill the mosquito.”
“Don’t cry for boys let them cry for you, because girls give and forgive, and boys get and forget.”
“Girls are like apples…the best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren’t as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who’s brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree…”
