Facebook Quotes

  1. If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success. – Management speak has never been more truthful.
  2. You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today. Sounds like an army corporal’s introduction speech.
  3. A thing not worth doing isn’t worth doing well. The perfect reply for when your boss asks you to do something dumb (if you want to get fired)
  4. Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career. – Unless your job is being a priest.
  5. A closed mouth gathers no foot. – Paste this on someone’s comment when they say something idiotic or controversial!
  6. Losing a husband can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible. – Know anybody who’s getting divorced in the near future? Let them know you’re thinking about them…
  7. Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid? – Unless they’re really bad at their job, of course…
  8. Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives. – If you ever see a green glowing tabby, steer clear of it.
  9. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. – Best friend, confidante, drug dealer.
  10. A day without radiation is a day without sunshine. – A lot of people on my friends list never go outside, so this won’t apply to them.
  11. I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen. – I hate it when you get what you wish for!
  12. I wouldn’t be caught dead with a necrophiliac. – The only crime that is worse than being caught having sex with an animal. Just.
  13. Bigamy: one wife too many. Monogamy: same thing – The perfect answer to ‘OMG I’M GETTING MARRIED status updates’.
  14. I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one. – Get the oven on, we might as well try!
  15. I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now. The old ones are the best!
  16. you always gotta have those
    friends, when you can do the
    stupidest things & just laugh about it together
  17. you can`t expect to SHINE
    if you don`t dare to DREAM
  18. you can come over. we can watch a scary movie and take stupid pictures; fall asleep together on my couch because you are my everything and all that i am, is yours.
  19. Sit by the window and watch the snow fall; and the wind blow. watch the street lights shine and I hope you wish you were with me.
  20. you are the only one who can see me at my worst and still think i’m beautiful
  21. You can fear the future, or you can embrace it. The choice is yours * Smallville *
  22. A goal without a plan is a dream.
  23. & the reason we stay on the phone when we have nothing to say is cause we would rather listen to each other’s every breathe than anything else
  24. for him i’d SMiLE when he’s hAPpY.
    KiSS him when he’s SAD. try to be
    the PErfECt GiRL. & CaLm him when
    he’s MaD. .hold his hANd to make
    him StRONg. & say hes riGht when i
    know that he’s wrong
  25. True love is when you can’t describe what you like about him.
    && CL0SE Y0UR EYES
  30. i CAN’T THiNK 0F A BETTER WAY T0 PUT iT:: i L0VE Y0U.
    && ALL i WANT
  33. the way i feel about you i just can`t explain.
    it`s the way my heart beats when i hear your name
  34. i`m scared when something good happens
    cause i know something bad isn`t far behind
  37. Women are like tea bags. You never know how strong they really are until you put them in hot water. – Eleanor Roosevelt
  38. I can’t give you a surefire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time. — HERBERT BAYARD SWOPE, American editor and journalist; first recipient of the Pulitzer Prize
  39. The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible, and achieve it, generation after generation. — PEARL S. BUCK
  40. Wag more. Bark less. — BUMPER STICKER
  41. Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what’s right. — ISAAC ASIMOV
  42. Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. — ALBERT EINSTEIN
  43. Just to do your thing’s the hardest thing to do. — CASS ELLIOT
  44. Those who would sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither. — BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
  45. Don’t take yourself too seriously. No one else does. — UNKNOWN
  46. Men of genius do not excel in any profession because they labor in it, but they labor in it because they excel. — WILLIAM HAZLITT
  47. You will never ‘find’ time for anything. If you want time you must make it. — CHARLES BUXTON
  48. Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. — HENRY FORD
  49. Happiness is not a destination. It is merely a method of traveling. — BURTON HILLS
  50. Some people walk in the rain. Others just get wet. — ROGER MILLER
  51. Deep inside I feel that this world we live in is really a big, huge, monumental symphonic orchestra. I believe that in its primordial form, all of creation is sound and that it’s not just random sound, that it’s music. — MICHAEL JACKSON
  52. In times of change learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists. — ERIC HOFFER
  53. You can tell you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. — ANNE LAMOTT
  54. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. — ARISTOTLE
  55. One dares not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity. — BRUCE LEE
  56. Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn’t permanent. – Jean Kerr
  57. Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. — HAROLD THURMAN WHITMAN
  58. How much do we learn proving other people are wrong? Nothing. How much do we learn defending that we’re right? Nothing. — MARSHALL GOLDSMITH
  59. Few of us can trace our ancestry to the Mayflower. But it’s worth noting that, from a Native American perspective, those Massachusetts Bay pilgrims were illegals. — TIMOTHY EGAN
  60. If you want things to be different, perhaps the answer is to become different yourself. — NORMAN VINCENT PEALE
  61. If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Don’t hoard it. Don’t dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke. — BRENDAN FRANCIS
  62. Some men see things as they are, and say, “Why?” I dream of things that never were, and say, “Why not? — GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
  63. Many poets are not poets for the same reason that many religious men are not saints: they never succeed in being themselves. They never get around to being the particular poet or particular monk that they are intended to be. — THOMAS MERTON
  64. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. — LEONARDO DA VINCI
  65. No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. – FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE
  66. If you don’t buy paper, the trees win. — NBC ANNOUNCER GUY (before The Office, 4/16/09)
  67. SEX – can bond two people, but it can also tear them apart faster and more painfully than almost anything else.
  68. I wish that we could just tell each other how we feel, I’m tired of pretending I got over you.
  69. It wasn’t a suicide attempt, it was an escape from everything awful. When we cut, we control our own pain, & we make it stop whenever we want. Physical pain relieves mental anguish. For that brief moment, the pain of cutting is the only thing in the cutter’s mind. & when the others come back, they’re weaker. Drugs do that too, & sex, but not like cutting. Nothing is like cutting.
  70. I like that you ramble when you’re nervous, I like that I know that you ramble when you’re nevous, and I like that I still make you nervous.
  71. Well, what am I supposed to think? You’re like the king of mixed signals. One day you can’t stand me. The next day you can’t get enough of me. They ignore each other and look the other way but they both know deep down inside, that it wasn’t suppossed to end this way. Let’s start over. Let’s forget all our problems. Let’s put our past behind us and never bring it up again. Like they said, We can’t live or love in the past. Lets throw all our problems away. I’ll give you my trust, if you give me yours. Lets fall in love… The right way.
  72. Sometimes you sit and you wonder if he can see it in your eyes.. if he can tell you still love him; that theres nothing you would rather think about than the times he held you in his arms. Can he see the tears? Because they sure are there, deep down, along with the pain and loneliness that youre sure no one can see. Sometimes you would give anything to be able to make him understand.
  73. No camera could ever capture the look in her eyes & the feeling in her heart when she’s looking at him.
  74. That’s cute. How you thought I would always run back to you & be your rebound. But baby, I’ve got news for you, my world is still spinning round & you’re not about to get in it’s way.
  75. It only hurts when you start pretending it doesn’t.
  76. There are alot of things about me that aren’t what you thought. But if you love me, you have to love all things about me.
  77. I hate the fact that you say you miss me, but you don’t do anything about it.
  78. I made a lot of stupid mistakes but the worst was thinking the person who hurt me the most wouldn’t hurt me again.
  79. A little jealous inside. Imagining someone could please you more than me. I guess it’s my insecurity acting up a bit because i know i’m not the most beautiful. Most fun or even the most exciting person you’ll ever meet but i do know that no matter how hard and long you search you will never find a girl who loves you and cares about you. The way I do.
  80. There’s this girl in the mirror, I wonder who she is, sometimes I think I know her and sometimes I wish I did. There is a story in her eyes, lullabies, and good-byes when she’s looking back at me I can tell. She’s hurting inside.
  81. It’s funny how when you get through a year nothing has seemed to change, but when you look back, everything is different.
  82. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days when i was six & my biggest problem was what kind of dress to put on Barbie, or whether or not she should wear her jeans.
  83. There’s a point in life where you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything but it`s not giving up. It’s realizing you don’t need certain people & all the bullshit they bring.
  84. Remember I will be there when your life goes hectic & wrong. I’m always here to help you. I’ve been here all along..
  85. You act different since we’re not dating, you’re the same but i miss holding your hand & having you really care about me..
  86. When your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you won’t die.
  87. you still look at me the way you used to, that must mean something…right
  88. When friends kiss they are no longer friends & not yet lovers… they are just something in between.
  89. Feelings I used to have aren’t there. And for the first time in so long. I really don’t care.
  90. When I tell you i love you
    i don’ t say it as a habit
    i say it to remind you
    that you’ re the best thing
    that’ s ever happened to me
  91. Have you ever heard a song from so long ago with so many memories tied to it that it made you cry? And didn’ t you wish that you could go back in time when everything was simpler and carefree? Those are the songs that are the soundtracks of our lives … the ones that bring back our childhood, best friends, first love, first broken heart, and the memories.
  92. You’re what kept me alive. The thought of you. The way your eyes look into mine. Your smile. The touch of your skin. Your lips. Whether i die tomorrow or fifty years from now, my destiny is the same: it’s you. I want to be with you.
  93. When you hold me so many memories fill my eyes, the first time we kissed, the times we nearly said goodbye, but still here we are, & tried & still true, & stronger then we ever knew.
  94. Though it’s been awhile now, I can still feel so much pain. Like the knife that cuts you, the wound heals. But the scar, that scar remains.
  95. Let’s not say we ‘hate each other.’ Instead, let’s use the word ‘despise.’ Somehow it sounds less childish, more passionate, & as if there’s still something there to hang on too..
  96. Small simple safe price, rise awake and carry me with all of my regrets…this is not a small cut that scabs and dries and flakes and heals, and I am not afraid to die. I’m not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight. I want the pain of payment.

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