Christmas is the “Disneyfication” of Christianity. ~Don Cupitt
Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home. ~Carol Nelson
Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts. ~Janice Maeditere
There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ~Erma Bombeck
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. ~Larry Wilde
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. ~Bernard Manning
Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip. ~Gary Allan
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ~Shirley Temple
People can’t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December. ~Ogden Nash
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. ~Phyllis Diller
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays. ~Henry Youngman
Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year’s gifts. ~Anonymous
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film. ~Unknown
A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world! ~Charles Dickens
Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind. ~Mary Ellen Chase
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. ~Bernard Manning
Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet. ~Anonymous
I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. ~Harlan Miller
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven. ~W. C. Fields
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. ~Victor Borge
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it. ~Katharine Whitehorn
Even as an adult I find it difficult to sleep on Christmas Eve. Yuletide excitement is a potent caffeine, no matter your age. ~Carrie Latet
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. ~Johnny Carson
There has been only one Christmas — the rest are anniversaries. ~W. J. Cameron
Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. ~Frank McKinney Hubbard
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. ~Anonymous
Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts. ~Max Lucado
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly. ~Andy Rooney
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. ~Garrison Keillor
If “ifs” and “buts” were candy and nuts, wouldn’t it be a Merry Christmas? ~Don Meredith
I can understand people simply fleeing the mountainous effort Christmas has become… but there are always a few saving graces and finally they make up for all the bother and distress. ~May Sarton
Christmas makes everything twice as sad. ~Doug Coupland
No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. ~Robert Kirby
There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas. ~Robert Lynd
Christmas is for children. But it is for grown-ups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts. ~Lenora Mattingly Weber
The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. ~John Andrew Holmes
Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money. ~Author Unknown
The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect! ~Charles N. Barnard
Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money. ~Author Unknown
Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time. ~Doug Coupland
