- Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. ~Unknown
- Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. ~Victor Borge
- I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying: ‘Toys not included.’ ~Bernard Manning
- Dear Santa,
I can explain.. - Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present. ~Unknown
- I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays. ~Henry Youngman
- The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. ~Johnny Carson
- A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. ~ Garrison Keillor
- What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a new job the next day. ~Phyllis Diller
- All I want for Christmas is for Santa to give me a copy of his naughty list..
