Funny I Love You Quotes And Sayings

  1. Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends.
  2. A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. ~Woodrow Wyatt
  3. While money doesn’t buy love, it puts you in a great bargaining position.
  4. Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the first thing you do? Turn out the lights! ~Robert Orben
  5. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman! ~Maryon Pearson
  6. I trip every time I see you or hear your name. I guess I really did fall for you.
  7. To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down. ~Woody Allen
  8. An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. ~Agatha Christie
  9. Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.
  10. Most relationships are not made in heaven. They come in kits and you have to put them together yourselves.
  11. There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn’t stand for that.
  12. You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. ~Henry Youngman
  13. The smallest word is I, the sweetest word is Love and the dearest person in the world is you. thats why I Love You.
  14. Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
  15. Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
  16. Love is blind and marriage is eye-opener.
  17. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. ~Henry Youngman
  18. Marry for money, my little sonny, a rich man’s joke is always funny.~ Hebrew Proverb
  19. Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with? ~ Rita Rudner
  20. True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about but few have seen. ~Unknown
  21. Love is loving what your lover loves. ~Unknown
  22. Love is like peeing your pants everyone can see it but only you can see it. Thanks for being the pee in my pants.
  23. Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. ~Franklin P. Jones
  24. I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor
  25. I’m tired of love; I’m still more tired of rhyme; but money gives me pleasure all the time. ~Hilaire Belloc
  26. I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. ~Walt Disney
  27. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. ~Pearl Bailey
  28. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love. ~Erich Fromm
  29. Love comforteth like sunshine after rain. ~William Shakespeare
  30. One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. ~Oscar Wilde
  31. Love is like any other luxury. You have no right to it unless you can afford it. ~Anthony Trollope
  32. Love is my sword, goodness my armor, and humor my shield.
  33. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. ~Erma Bombeck

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