You know how most dating and relationship articles talk about loving someone else and showing us how to give love and receive love from an outside source. But did you know? Sometimes we forget about the #1 biggest and deepest source of feeling loved…
And this is the most loyal and long lasting type of love. It never leaves you and always stands by your side in every breath and every moment of your life… And that is, simply Self Love.
So do you sometimes feel that it’s immodest to love yourself? Could this perhaps be one of the biggest limiting beliefs you hold?
Here are two important facts about love…
No One Can Love You More than You Love Yourself
The love you create and experience in your life will be in direct relation to the amount you love yourself. If you do not love yourself, then how can you ever believe that anyone else can love you? Truly, ask yourself that question, because it will be enlightening for you.
It creates a ‘push/pull’ energy. You will ‘need’ love from others to make you feel complete, whilst rejecting it at the same time, not understanding what it is about you that there is to love.
After all, how come we spend our time searching for romantic love letters to send to our partner… but we rarely sit down once to write a loving letter to ourselves, reminding you why you’re proud of yourself and love yourself so much?
And why there are so many love poems out there dedicated to someone else, saying how he/she is the whole world to us? Why not write a short loving poem about yourself and why you’re so happy to be YOU?
You can simply try to embrace this new idea today: Loving yourself first and most, and you’ll be amazed how much more love and joy you’ll feel inside to share with your partner and the rest of the world.
So here is the second fact…
How Much You Love Yourself Affects How You Respond to Anything
When life squeezes you, then you will respond with love, compassion and understanding if you are filled to the brim with self-love. If on the other hand you are filled with bitterness or resentment, then with each person who responds negatively to you, instead of seeing through the eyes of love and understanding, you will see and feel their response as a personal insult, failing to see that they are dealing with their own fears and beliefs which they are projecting onto you.
This is when we choose to take every negative thing on board and allow everyone else to control how we’re going to feel on any given day… this is a very fearful place to be indeed…
What Is Your Projection?
One of the most amazing things is that whatever we’re feeling about someone, we will project onto that person. If you subconsciously don’t like someone, they will sense it very subtly from your eyes, the way you look at them, from your body language, and from something in your energy. We find it very difficult to feel comfortable in the presence of someone we feel doesn’t like us, yet we’re often not quite sure how or why we know, we just do.
I remember being with a man whose employees had a grievance against him, and he said to me ‘I’ve no idea why everyone thinks I’m bullying them, because I walk around all day at work with a smile on my face’. However, the smile was hiding something – his energy was angry, frustrated, it came from his eyes, I felt it from him too.
Yet, trying to explain this is like trying to explain how or why electricity works. We know it’s there, subconsciously we understand why we connect more with some people than with others, why we relish being around some people and find it draining to be around others.
This was the biggest learning for me in how to diffuse a situation with love. If someone is angry at you, or you are expecting angry behavior from another, the way to help change the energy of the situation is to begin to look at them through the eyes of love. When people are angry it is because they are struggling with something. We, however, more often than not choose to see this as a personal insult. If we choose to be understanding instead, it creates alternative behaviour in others…
So it dawned on me little by little that I was with absolute certainty creating my life with the energy I was emitting. When I first learned about the Law of Attraction, it taught me that all I had to do was ask for something, believe it was coming and then receive it.
Basically all my thoughts became things… so if I thought about a black Mercedes, then would one inevitably appear in my driveway the following week? No, most likely not, although a great deal of what I do think about does seem to magically flow to me.
I believe that the Law of Attraction works on a much deeper level still. It is created within our own energy – what we emit, we create. This applies in relationships (intimate or otherwise), with animals, in job interviews, with sales… you name it!
What we are thinking about, however angry or frustrated we are, we draw like-minded people towards us. Energy attracts like energy. Negative people don’t enjoy being around positive people one little bit!
Not unless they’re ready to begin the journey that is… I remember when I first became so excited about positive thinking, my usual group of friends when I had loved moaning and complaining about everything soon began to resent my entering into a room, even saying ‘Oh great, here comes Miss Positive again!’… it was hurtful at the time, but a very necessary and powerful learning for my journey.
As my journey progressed I began projecting that I wanted happiness, I loved being around happy people, and they loved being around me – I had changed. Our energies no longer matched… and with an understanding of how and why energies attract each other, it all makes perfect sense.
It is for this reason that it is absolutely essential to love yourself fully before entering into a relationship. If you do, you will attract someone who loves their own company too… if you love your company, your partner certainly will. Someone who loves themselves would never be attracted to someone they needed to ‘fix’ or someone whose energy drained them.
You may say this happens… but I would disagree. The self-love would not be from a place of genuine authenticity if so. For instance, many people take on partners that need ‘fixing’. Now this is a sign that the ‘fixer’ gains something by ‘fixing’ another, they generally get to feel better about themselves, feel worthy, feel superior… make sense?
So yes, they may say they love themselves, but realistically if they still need this sense of stimulation to feel good about themselves, then how can that possibly be true self-love?…
I am loving this journey… sharing my truth… with YOU