As they always say, everything has its end. And like any other things in this world, relationship has its own finish line. Hopefully, it could be a happy, fulfilling ending like that of the romantic fairy tales; “And they live happily ever after…”—-until death comes to part the two lovers.
However, if you look closely into reality, you could see that it’s not always the case. Sometimes, you have to end those intimate ties because the bond simply doesn’t work out. Finishing the things which was used to be wonderful is just so upsetting and difficult, thinking that souls are at stake, even if you personally want to be freed. In guiding you to conclude what you can’t carry on anymore, here are the tips for a smooth, clean break-up.
How To End A Relationship
Cut off the usual break-up line that says, “The problem’s not you, it’s me.” Stop making sugary coated explanations why it’s not going to work. Though these would somehow ease the pain, these will just delay the recovery process. Be direct to the point; don’t blame him and certainly don’t blame yourself. There’s nothing wrong with either one of you. However, if paired as a couple, your attitudes and interest are just not compatible to make the relationship lasts.
Yes, you should definitely be frank, but it doesn’t mean you have to point out every little mistake or wrong decision he made, like the time he had a very hysterically weird outfit in a friend’s party, or when he had this discouragingly suffocating body odor and wanted to cuddle you. Accepting the split is difficult enough for him without the criticism, so slash off any intention to further step down his self-esteem. Instead, try talking about the good things about him while you’re still together though it didn’t help in saving the relationship.
Finish It In Person
Consider this—-if you don’t have the guts to properly end a relationship with the casual, one-on-one conversation, then why did you go into this situation anyway? Breaking up either through the phone or email is just pathetic. Though ending things through any virtual form becomes more common and acceptable nowadays, you should not make it a habit for this degrades the sincerity and intimacy in any potential love rapport. So prepare yourself and set a suitable date and location to have a serious discussion. It can be uncomfortable and awkward to talk to him in person, but he deserves the respect and formality of knowing the reasons why you’re doing it.
Choose The Right Timing
Dumping him just before his very important business report or final school test is definitely not a good time, unless you want to spoil his big day even before he starts it. Any Friday night is a good option that will allow your ex to start to move on in the weekend, so not to make him unproductive for the rest of his weekdays. Choose more serene yet public locations, like a park or coffeehouse to talk about these kinds of things, and you’ll receive a better and more public-appropriate reaction than if you do it just behind the cashier’s counter of the department store.
Don’t Try To Be Friends
No, you can’t be friends, not unless you’re certain that you recovered from the split, which would take about several months to one year later. Being friends will make the two of you go back to where you started, and thus it would be difficult for you to move forward. Free yourselves from the remnants of the past by adding a space in between. This means no communication in any form—-deleting his number, no chatting in YM, and definitely no stalking in Facebook. Make it a final stop and allow each other to heal and meet someone more compatible with you.
Recover From Guilt
It’s okay if you would feel guilty for starting the breakup. It might however not only cause pain to your now ex but also affects you emotionally, mentally and even physically. Thus, it’s always better to free yourself from any trapped negative feeling by doing things that will refresh and lift your mind. Take some time for yourself and reflect, meditate, and do a daily routine of deep breathing and exercising, and you’ll be surprised at how your chest has lightened up from the burden.