I know that Elvis sang his song about Kissing Cousins and it seemed so wrong in today’s society.
Everyone who knew about our secret passion told us it was wrong but how could they know about how we felt as we lay together that night. We both knew we maybe should not have done it but we were attracted so strongly we could not stop ourselves.
Yes it was just so easy to love you. It felt right. It was as though we were designed for each other. Our feelings were so natural, so good and normal for two people to want to cuddle up to each other. Yes I have a boyfriend and you have a husband but being with each other that night was beyond anything else I had ever experienced with any boy. I know you also felt the same way as we came together in a close embrace. Yet we could only talk with a few select friends who could understand and support but even they said it was wrong.
How can something so natural and so good be wrong for us?
Why do I still feel so heart broken when I see you across the room? I know that you feel the same way when we are so close but can’t be together. I see your eyes flash when they accidentally meet for those few fleeting seconds before quickly turning away.
Nothing I have done has ever felt as good as those hours we spent lying in each arms
I don’t think any other relationship will ever feel so right.
We can’t be just friends, we can’t be alone together, so we have to remain apart. When I think about you it just brings tears to my eyes and a broken feeling of worthlessness. Something is missing from my life. Someone very important to me and that is you my love, my darling girl.
I know that no man will ever be able to love me the way you did that night we spent together. You just were able to bring out feelings I had never experienced before and never have since. You just seemed to know my body so well you knew exactly what to do to share our pleasures.
Your love that night was so unconditionally giving everything you had and more to bring me pleasure. You taught me so much about my own body and I experienced so much more.
And I’m still here for you and I want to be there for you again. This time I know more I will be able to give back easier all I need to prove it is one more time to lie with you. To feel your body close to me again never wanting to part.
When I agreed to come over when your husband was away it was for company. Sharing that wine and talking so late into the night it just seemed right to share your bed I never thought about sharing your body as well.
I want to to do the same thing again and again. I want one more chance to lay together with you to feel your body close to mine. I will hold you like I did that night and I will tell you that I love you. That will not change. We had been cousins and close friends for so many years before that night but I don’t want to be just a friend anymore I want to be your lover full time.
Let me experience your love even just once more and I will be able to live just a little longer.
Saturday Night, May 19, 1917
Do not imagine, because you find these lines in your journal that I have been trespassing. You know I have not – and where else shall I leave a love letter? For I long to write you a love-letter tonight.
You are all about me – I seem to breathe you, hear you, feel you in me and of me.
What am I doing here? You are away. I have seen you in the train, at the station, driving up, sitting in the lamplight, talking, greeting people, washing your hands… And I am here – in your tent – sitting at your table.
There are some wall-flower petals on the table and a dead match, a blue pencil and a Magdeburgische Zeitung. I am just as much at home as they.
When dusk came, flowing up the silent garden, lapping against the blind windows, my first and last terror started up. I was making some coffee in the kitchen. It was so violent, so dreadful I put down the coffee pot – and simply ran away – ran ran out of the studio and up the street with my bag under one arm and a block of writing paper and a pen under the other. I felt that if I could get here and find Mrs. F I should be *safe*.
I found her and I lighted your gas, wound up your clock, drew your curtains and embraced your black overcoat before I sat down, frightened no longer. Do not be angry with me, Bogey. Ca a ete plus fort que moi …. That is why I am here.
When you came to tea this afternoon you took a brioche, broke it in half and padded the inside doughy bit with two fingers. You always do that with a bun or roll or a piece of bread. It is your way – your head a little on one side the while.
When you opened your suitcase, I saw your old Feltie and a French book and a com all higgledy-piggedly. ‘Tig, Ive only got 3 handkerchiefs.’ Why should that memory be so sweet to me?…
Last night, there was a moment before you got into bed. You stood, quite naked, bending forward a little, talking. It was only for an instant. I saw you – I loved you so, loved your body with such tenderness. Ah, my dear!
And I am not thinking of *passion*. No, of that other thing that makes me feel that every inch of you is so precious to me – your soft shoulders – your creamy warm skin, your ears cold like shells are cold – your long legs and your feet that I love to clasp with my feet – the feeling of your belly – and your thin young back. Just below that bone that sticks out at the back of your neck you have a little mole.
It is partly because we are young that I feel this tenderness. I love your mouth. I could not bear that it should be touched even by a cold wind if I were the Lord.
We two, you know, have everything before us, and we shall do very great things. I have perfect faith in us, and so perfect is my love for you that I am, as it were, still, silent to my very soul.
I want nobody but you for my lover and my friend and to nobody buy you shall I be faithful.
I am yours forever.
New Zealand’s most famous writer, who was closely associated with D.H. Lawrence and something of a rival of Virginia Woolf. Mansfield’s creative years were burdened with loneliness, illness, jealousy, alienation – all this reflected in her work with the bitter depiction of marital and family relationships of her middle-class characters.
After an unhappy marriage in 1909 to George Brown, she left him only a few days after the wedding, Mansfield moved to Germany for a while during which time she became pregnant during an affair with Garnett Trowell, a touring musician. After a miscarriage she returned to London in 1910, she became ill with an untreated sexually transmitted disease, a condition which contributed to her weak health for the rest of her life.
My Dearest Sheila,
How are you my dearest love? Virtually every night I still relive that last loving night we had together. Your words still sound just like music to my ears. I cannot wait for the next golden opportunity to spend a night with you. Yet you still tease me with promises and laughter that send thrills and despondency up and down my body in waves.
Your eyes are responsible for us making love so often. I only have to look at you and see the smallest glance of those beautiful blue eyes gives me so much pleasure. That same love that causes me pain when I know you are with your husband somehow also cures my sorrows. I need you to keep looking at me with that depth of love.
You have that wonderful magic effect on me. Things always seem to heat up when you are in the same room as me. Every time I hear your voice or see your figure hugging dresses my whole body throbs for you. You send ripples of fire through my groin whenever I think of the incredible times when we have shared a bed together.
We lie there exhausted from the pleasures we have shared together yet when I hear your gentle voice saying those magic words “I love you” rejuvenates me and pulls you back into my arms yet again.
I was born for you and you only and am willing to die for our love together. The purpose of my life now is to simply love you to bits. Your love is of primary importance for me. I love your company even when others are around you can still send fire sizzling through my body. In fact I can become so hot for you that I want to throw you on the floor rug and slowly place my kisses all over your body. And you know what happens to our level of passion whenever we have done that. So I ask you please don’t stand so near to me in company rubbing your arm along my back the way you do or I will forget that they are there and make love to you there and then.
You are fully able to fulfill all my desires returning even more love than I can give you. You are insatiable it seems you just can’t get enough of me either no matter how much we have done already.
Our eyes are best instruments for making love. Merely looking at you and having a glance of your beautiful liquid eyes gives me great pleasure. The love which causes pain also cures my sorrow. Just keep looking at me with that love. Your instant, bright, embracing glance gives me supreme delight.
My Dearest …
I am caught in the grasp of a most lovely vision. I have arrived and am about ready to enter the room that shall be ours to share the most awaited and cherished of moments. As I enter, the thought occurs to me that I enter more than just a room. That this door which lends entry is no mere portal at all. It is now the only thing keeping us from each other’s arms.
It is opened now and the realization will be that no matter what circumstances we shall find ourselves to be in, we shall forever have access to each other.
My heart pounds as this door now shuts, safely keeping us in, and alone, and keeping all else out.
My eyes gaze and then fill with the beauty I see before me. For you are there and have been awaiting me as I have awaited you. We fall into each other’s embrace and this moment is savored. Never before has holding another felt so right. It is a missing piece of a puzzle has at long last been found and put in its proper place, completing a creation and the picture can now be clearly seen.
At last, a long and hungry kiss is exchanged and that desire which has been burning so fiercely for you from deep within me has now become passion’s fire which must be allowed to consume us. I remove your clothing as you allow my lips to taste all I see. Until finally, you are before me in entire nakedness.
My lips just going on their own free will. I don’t even stop to think where they should go next as I cherish this moment of our first intimate encounter together. It seems they have a mind of their own as they take in all the different parts of your body. First my lips then my tongue flicking over your skin, caressing it, sucking it into my mouth trying to achieve every pleasure known to the human body.
I have never known such beauty and I join you in this nakedness. It is at this point that we step and gentely whilst holding each tight and taking in every feeling of intense pleasure possible through skin to skin contact that we both lay down together beside each other.
Now we are together, no clothes, no inhibitions, no hesitations, no regrets. This moment has for too long been denied. We are left alone to bring each other the ultimate pleasures so heartfelt to each other… and we do so again and again.
Our lives as our bodies will be forever changed. For we have at long last shared that which is the most personal part of each.
How wonderful the thought, that we shall be allowed to fully wish each other a good night. And now dreams shall be forever changed as well. Memories shall have been born that no one may take away. And for myself, I will want the slumber to end quickly so that I may find the next day to be with you again.
Though we both know that time shall pass too quickly, the moments we shall share will be the most sincere, the most wonderful. I want to leave you with the warmest of memories, hope and want for tomorrow, and the desire to be with me again. I want you to have felt the deepest of pleasures, and gratification, and satisfaction. I want you to know, that never before has any man loved you as I love you. I want you to know that this love will grow, will be more passionate, more yours with every day.
Our marriage was today a life changing moment. This night today will lead to our tomorrows. And will lead us to many more days when no time need be hurried, when no distance shall exist between us, we no door shall keep us apart. We shall be forever one and forever together. Smiles will be brighter and more frequent… hearts forever opened to each other. And we shall never have say farewell… but only goodnight…
I love you
I cannot wait for reality!
Though I have thoroughly enjoyed the dream…
And you are both.
Love LetterI can’t seem to get you out of my mind for very long even when I am trying to concentrate on my work. The picture of your body keep breaking into my thoughts. I can’t think about anything, except what it feels like to be touching you… Just a touch of your hand sends shivers up and down my spine. What can I do?
Simply I can’t explain the way you make me feel good. I say I want my thoughts to remain still. I can feel these my deepest desires for you. You are all I want.
Tonight as I sit here at my computer trying to get my accounts in order for the tax return at the end of this month I was thinking about you yet again.
I wish you were here so I could feel your smell. Your perfume already lingers in my brain. It is as through you are already in my bedroom office but I know I need you here soon, so I don’t have to wait another moment longer than absolutely necessary dreaming about you.
Tonight I want to make all of your desires come true. When you get here I plan to begin my slow seduction. I will make your body feel like it’s on fire. My lips will caress you all over, my tongue will lavish you and my hands will explore every inch of your body. My ultimate desire is to leave you wanting more. And, just when you think you can’t take anymore… Tonight my love, tonight.
Yes that is right tonight more than any other night I want you to make me yours. I want to feel your touch. I want to feel your lips. I want to feel your arms and your legs wrapped around me pulling me closer still. I want you to make me weak with need. I want to feel alive in you.
But that is later tonight when you come. In the mean time I send this sexy loving email to you to warn you of my intentions and to make you more eager to arrive on time or even better earlier than we arranged.
Till tonight my beloved
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