- “I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.”
- “People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world,” Calvin.
- “Cheese… milk’s leap toward immortality.” Short and funny quote by, Clifton Fadiman.
- “Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” Short funny quotes by, Bob Hope
- “A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.” Short funny quotes by, Ronald Reagan
- “You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” Short funny quotes by, Dean Martin
- “Honolulu – it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother.” .
- “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” Short funny quotes by, Albert Einstein
- “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” Short Funny Quote by, Unknown.
- “Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.” Short Funny Quote by, Anonymous.
- “Next to power without honor, the most dangerous thing in the world is power without humor.” – Eric Sevareid
- “The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense.” – Jacob August Riis
