Anyone who is married, or who is in a long-term relationship, will tell you that making their relationship work isn’t always easy. Even the couples who never seem to fight when around family or friends admit to having disagreements behind closed doors – no one, and no relationship, is perfect.
The difference between one relationship and the next is how the couple deals with these disagreements.
It’s been said time and time again – communication, openness, and sharing your feelings is crucial in marriage. After all, if your spouse doesn’t know what’s bothering you, how can you expect them to understand and work with you to arrive at a compromise?
Couples counseling can be very beneficial in helping couples learn how to speak and listen to each other more effectively.
A marriage is a blending of two hearts, two heads, two different people – who have made a commitment to each other and formed one union. It’s understandable that differences will arise, because no two people are exactly alike.
But learning how to communicate better and truly understand and respect each other’s hopes, personalities, and flaws, will go a long way toward improving your marriage.
There will always be stresses that test your relationship. Sometimes these stresses seem to get out of control, leading couples to find help. But people who seek couples counseling are more likely to repair their relationship than those who don’t. However, it isn’t an easy process, and both partners need to be willing to participate. Here are the top four reasons why people choose to get help and how professional help works.
Top 4 Reasons Why Couples Seek Couples Counseling
Disagreements Over Money
One of you may be a compulsive shopper who can’t resist new shoes or the latest electronic gadget, while the other may only shell out cash for food, bills, and other necessities.
These conflicting views on money can lead to frequent disagreements. The economic downturn and rising fears of unemployment have added to many couples’ financial stresses.
Couples counseling can help people get to the root of their money problems. Therapists can help couples find out the underlying reason behind someone’s excessive spending or hording money, work through any trust issues behind a reluctance to set up a joint account, and deal with emotional issues related to losing a job.
Frequent fighting or general unhappiness in a relationship can cause one or both partners to have an affair. When the affair is discovered, the betrayed spouse wonders how to go on in the relationship, and if they will ever be able to trust their partner again.
With professional help, partners will be able to come together in neutral territory to discuss the circumstances that lead to the infidelity. Finding out the fundamental cause for the affair can go a long way toward mending that mistake and rebuilding trust in each other.
Lack Of Romance Or Sex
As the years go by, long work hours, kids, and even weight gain can lead to less romance and sex. One or both partners may begin to feel neglected, which often leads to them drawing away from their spouse and wondering why their sex life isn’t what it used to be. But this reluctance to talk about the issue needs to be replaced by having a discussion about it.
Here’s another place where communication is essential. Even with your spouse, sex may be awkward to talk about, especially if the conversation is about a lack of sex.
But sex and romance is a vital part of marriage and are worth discussing in hopes of regaining that intimacy. Many couples go through dry spells, and it’s perfectly normal. Through couples counseling, partners can explore the issues behind their lack of intimacy and work on a plan to regain that spark.
Disagreements Over Raising Children or Having Children
To put it bluntly, kids are stressful. And not just raising them, but all the stuff that comes before they’re even born: deciding to have them, how many, possibly experiencing infertility, talking about how to discipline them… and then once they’re born, the 3 AM feedings, financial strain of raising them, and everyday stresses that kids bring to the table like loudness, getting into trouble… the list is endless.
These important decisions and stressful situations can test even the strongest relationship. Couples counseling can help couples work together to make these nerve-racking choices, and address psychological issues that may stem from one or both partner’s childhood that are affecting the decision of having or raising children.
There are many reasons why couples end up in couples counseling. But a couple that’s willing to participate in couples counseling has a better chance of surviving than a couple that neglects their issues in hopes of resolving them on their own or walking away completely.