- What if Oxygen makes our voice really deep…. And Helium just brings it back to normal? O_O
- MOM! I just got a ticket for speeding…” “How fast were you going?” “Obviously not fast enough, cause the bastard caught me.
- Dear phone companies, please make all phones have the same phone charger. Sincerely, at my friend’s house with dead phone battery.
- Einstein: Genius mind. Galileo: Great mind. Newton: Extraordinary mind. Bill Gates: Brilliant mind. Me: NEVERMIND.
- That awkward moment when someone is crying and you’re trying your hardest not to laugh.
- “Are you home?” “No, I just answered my home phone from a bat cave”
- Dear icebergs, sorry about global warming. Karma’s a bitch. Sincerely, the Titanic.
- That awkward moment when you keep talking & you don’t realize the person you were talking to, walked away.
- That awkward moment when Wikipedia copied your homework.
- That epic moment when you drop your iPod and your headphones save its life.
- I did in bed… I did it on the couch… I did it in the car… Texting is such an obsession. :)
- Pretending to think hard when your teacher is looking at you.
- Wouldn’t it be crazy if at the end of the last Harry Potter book, J.K Rowling wrote, “and then Harry suddenly woke up..”
- Dear models in facewash commercials, I honestly don’t know anyone who can splash water on their face, smiling, with their eyes open.
- That awkward moment when you see a bunch people from school hanging out at the mall and you’re there with your mom.
- Dear Math, I liked you, until you hooked up with the alphabet. Sincerely, you’re such a whore.
- That amazing moment when you type your homework on google and found EXACTLY what you need.
- “Can I ask you something?” “You’re already asking.”
- Teacher: I hope I don’t see you copying another student’s homework. Student: Yeah, I hope you don’t see that either.
- If sleep is SO important.. Then why does school starts so early?
- Girl to girl: “Awhh, you’re really pretty!” “Thank you so much, you are too!” Guy to guy: “You’re handsome” “Wtf? Dude are you gay?”
- Women say childbirth is the most painful thing… obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.
- I text you a whole paragraph within 5 minutes and you text me back 40 minutes later saying “LOL”… Are you asking to be punched?
- Teacher: Today we’re watching a movie. Students: YAY! Teacher: So get out a pen & paper, we’re taking notes. Students: SHIIIT -.-
- Mom: YOUR GROUNDED. Teen: Psh. Fine I don’t care. Mom: Give me your phone then. Teen: OMG I’M SO SORRY MOM I LOVE YOU!
- I’m sure my pillow could be a hairstylist. I always wake up with a new hairstyle.
- I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.
- Dear Math teacher, I don’t care what f(x) is. Sincerely, f(you).
- That awkward moment when a teacher’s yelling at your friend & the class is all serious & you’re about to burst out laughing.
- Sometimes when I close my eyes………… I can’t see
