Wanna Hear Some Bad Jokes?

  1. Q: What does a creepy stalker and a bank have in common?
    A: They won’t leave me a loan!
    (MutuLOL fund?)
  2. Q: What did the family members say when discussing the pros and cons of their family reunion?
    A: “It’s all relative!”
    (famLOLy circus?)
  3. Q: What do you call solitary trees in Mexico?
    A: Plantalones!
    (LOLnely magLOLia?)
  4. Q: What does gold say when it’s trying to get another element’s attention on the periodic table?
    A: A-U!
  5. Q: What did the adoption agency say when the brother rabbits came in?
    A: “Aww, let’s not split hares!”
    A: http://www.dumbjokesthatarefunny.com/
  7. Q: What’s the most sociable type of nail?
    A: A HANG nail!
  8. Q: Which type of animal loves to practice yoga?
    A: Yogi bear!
    (JLOLystone park?)
  9. Q: Why did the woman rush out of the coffee shop?
    A: Because she didn’t have a latte time!
  10. Q: Which type of late night snack is the sleaziest?
    A: Poutine! Because it’s always poutine on the moves!
  11. Q: What did the plebe say when he went to the beach?
    A: “Serfs’ up!”
  12. Q: What’s the sleepiest part of a building?
    A: The windoze!
    (doubLOL paned?)
  13. Q: What do you call the last place finisher in a sledding race?
    A: The biggest Luger!
  14. Q: Which muppet always gets invited to the Academy Awards?
    A: Oscar!
    (CriticLOL Acclaim?)
  15. Q: Why is a snowstorm very unreliable?
    A: Because it’s full of huge flakes!
    (Winter WonderLOLnd?)
  16. Q: How soon does a Swede know he’s a Swede?
    A: The day he is Bjorn!
    (Swedish meatbLOLs?)
  17. Q: Which nationality loves musical encores?
    A: Mo-rock-ins!
  18. Q: What did the single cob have to resort to in order to provide for its cob family?
    A: It became a corn star!
  19. Q: What do Spanish speakers say when they are very impressed?
    A: “Hola la!”
  20. Q: Why did the gymnast drop out of law school?
    A: Because she couldn’t pass the bar!
    (LOL school?)
  21. Q: What did the Yankees have for dinner tonight?
    A: Phillie Mignon!
  22. Q: Why did the snail have to move out of its shell?
    A: Because it was in escrowgo!
    (home LOLn?)
  23. Q: What type of dinosaur loves synonyms?
    A: A Thesaurus!
  24. Q: What is a punk’s favorite part of a pizza?
    A: The CRUST!
    (rock n rLOL?)
  25. Q: Why would the season of fall make a shitty friend?
    A: Because it would be fair weathered!
  26. Q: What do you call a really skinny British man?
    A: A chapstick!
  27. Q: Why was the pirate disappointed in his blind date?
    A: Because she had a fake chest and no booty!
    (Treasure IsLOLnd?)
  28. Q: What type of soup is the most apologetic?
    A: Miso Sorry!
    (Top LOLmen?)
  29. Q: What does George Foreman say when he’s in a confrontation?
    A: “Yo, why you all up in my grill?”
    (grLOLed cheese?)
  30. Q: What do you call a shot caller that’s really good at dancing?
    A: A BALLERina!
    (It’s LOL about the Benjamins?)
  31. Q: What did the music teacher say to the sassy student?
    A: “I don’t like your tone!”
  32. Q: What do you call a logical popsicle?
    A: A sensicle!
  33. Q: Why wasn’t Xena Warrior Princess a comedy?
    A: Because it starred Lucy LOLless!
  34. Q: Why did the bicycle stop working?
    A: Because it was two tired!
  35. Q: What did Nixon say after Watergate?
    A: “I am not a creek!”
  36. Q: Why did Simba’s father die?
    A: Because he didn’t mufasenough!
    (LOLin’ King?)
  37. Q: What did Hugh Laurie say when treating his friends to dinner?
    A: “It’s on the House!”
    (Hugh LOLrie?)
  38. Q: What language should this blog be translated into?
    A: EsPUNol.
  39. Q: What did the seamstress say to her fashionable customer?
    A: Your dresses are SEW cute!
  40. Q: What do you call an obscure escape artist that no one has ever heard of?
    A: Who?dini!

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