- Q: What does a creepy stalker and a bank have in common?
A: They won’t leave me a loan!
- Q: What did the family members say when discussing the pros and cons of their family reunion?
A: “It’s all relative!”
- Q: What do you call solitary trees in Mexico?
- Q: What does gold say when it’s trying to get another element’s attention on the periodic table?
- Q: What did the adoption agency say when the brother rabbits came in?
A: “Aww, let’s not split hares!”
- Q: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT??
- Q: What’s the most sociable type of nail?
A: A HANG nail!
- Q: Which type of animal loves to practice yoga?
A: Yogi bear!
- Q: Why did the woman rush out of the coffee shop?
A: Because she didn’t have a latte time!
- Q: Which type of late night snack is the sleaziest?
A: Poutine! Because it’s always poutine on the moves!
- Q: What did the plebe say when he went to the beach?
A: “Serfs’ up!”
- Q: What’s the sleepiest part of a building?
A: The windoze!
- Q: What do you call the last place finisher in a sledding race?
A: The biggest Luger!
- Q: Which muppet always gets invited to the Academy Awards?
- Q: Why is a snowstorm very unreliable?
A: Because it’s full of huge flakes!
- Q: How soon does a Swede know he’s a Swede?
A: The day he is Bjorn!
- Q: Which nationality loves musical encores?
- Q: What did the single cob have to resort to in order to provide for its cob family?
A: It became a corn star!
- Q: What do Spanish speakers say when they are very impressed?
A: “Hola la!”
- Q: Why did the gymnast drop out of law school?
A: Because she couldn’t pass the bar!
- Q: What did the Yankees have for dinner tonight?
A: Phillie Mignon!
- Q: Why did the snail have to move out of its shell?
A: Because it was in escrowgo!
- Q: What type of dinosaur loves synonyms?
A: A Thesaurus!
- Q: What is a punk’s favorite part of a pizza?
A: The CRUST!
(rock n rLOL?)
- Q: Why would the season of fall make a shitty friend?
A: Because it would be fair weathered!
- Q: What do you call a really skinny British man?
A: A chapstick!
- Q: Why was the pirate disappointed in his blind date?
A: Because she had a fake chest and no booty!
- Q: What type of soup is the most apologetic?
A: Miso Sorry!
- Q: What does George Foreman say when he’s in a confrontation?
A: “Yo, why you all up in my grill?”
- Q: What do you call a shot caller that’s really good at dancing?
A: A BALLERina!
(It’s LOL about the Benjamins?)
- Q: What did the music teacher say to the sassy student?
A: “I don’t like your tone!”
- Q: What do you call a logical popsicle?
A: A sensicle!
- Q: Why wasn’t Xena Warrior Princess a comedy?
A: Because it starred Lucy LOLless!
- Q: Why did the bicycle stop working?
A: Because it was two tired!
- Q: What did Nixon say after Watergate?
A: “I am not a creek!”
- Q: Why did Simba’s father die?
A: Because he didn’t mufasenough!
- Q: What did Hugh Laurie say when treating his friends to dinner?
A: “It’s on the House!”
- Q: What language should this blog be translated into?
- Q: What did the seamstress say to her fashionable customer?
A: Your dresses are SEW cute!
- Q: What do you call an obscure escape artist that no one has ever heard of?